Goodbye

When I walk out of my store tonight, it will be for the last time. Over the last two years I have given all I have to this job and then some. But today, I don’t want to focus on the reasons I chose to leave. Today I want to remember why I stayed.

To the people I work with, you have become my family. We were dysfunctional most of the time but we always had a kind word to share. We always knew what to expect from each other. Even when I tried to cover up my sadness you could always tell. I know that I will carry each laugh with me to my next adventure and I hope that you will to. Remember the good times when you think of me. Remember the jokes. Remember all the times you asked if I would get us coffee and before too long I had an order for 20 people.

I’ll always remember those drinks.

  • Vanilla latte
  • Triple breve
  • Iced white chocolate mocha with whip
  • Mocha no whip (iced or hot depending on the weather)
  • Americano with cream
  • Bold with cream
  • Strawberries and cream frappe
  • “Are you going to black rock?” Or a water with extra ice or a black and white mocha frappe with half the amount of espresso and extra sweet and I think heavy cream? That one gets complicated
  • Iced black coffee with soy milk
  • Caramel macchiato
  • Iced chai
  • Passion tea lemonade with 1/3 passion tea 1/3 green tea and 1/3 lemonade or a soy caramel macchiato
  • Hazelnut white chocolate mocha
  • Chai or pumpkin spice latte
  • White chocolate mocha with caramel
  • Extra sweet iced white chocolate mocha with whip

Sometimes I tell myself that these things are not important to remember. But I don’t mind having these unique details imprinted in my mind. Because I know if I remember these, I can remember it all.

I often wonder how I will be remembered when I leave. Will you think of me as the girl who knew all the words to all the songs on our never changing playlist. The one who liked to tell you no. The one who wanted to be black and white in a store that only dealt in the gray area. The store mother? I can’t tell you how to remember me. I can’t dictate the stories you tell of me once I’m gone. And that’s okay. We’re all stories in the end, aren’t we?

I’ll remember the way you all spoke. Every m’kay. Every beautiful. Every head nod. Every hand gesture. Every hug. Every tear. Every Friday night halfetizer after closing. I couldn’t forget these things because they are my story. It’s what I will keep in mind when I speak of the last two years. The job was not easy by any means but you all made it easier.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me. I couldn’t list it all even if I tried. You’ve helped shape me into the person I am today. Even though I still think I have a ways to go before I’m where I want to be, I know I’m at lot closer than when I began.

And to those who kept me going even though we were not direct coworkers. I couldn’t have done this without you.

To Katie for giving me a chance to become a better leader and for never giving up on me. Thank you so much. I am so glad to have been able to work for you and to have learn what you had to teach us.

To Becky who, although we barely knew each other, always sent me a message saying hello. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to each day. Even though you left the company before I did, you were always cheering me on.

To the Faction. Thanks for the group texts. Thanks for letting me send you picture after picture of memes and those silly ecard things. Thanks for never making me feel alone. I guess I shouldn’t be glad you had to go through it too but at least we have each other. At least we can understand each other. So thank you for understanding.

And lastly, if I might, I would like to thank myself. For making the right choice even though it is one of the most difficult choices I’ve made. For having the strength to say goodbye when everyone around you wants you to stay. Thank you for putting yourself first for once.

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