This week has been a series of trials. A mix of tears and anger. Frustration and complete indifference to everything. This week is only halfway done. But I want to thank you, Wednesday, for arriving when you did.
This week started a new month. I have sufficiently kept this blog in full swing for seven months which might be the longest I’ve ever stuck with a project like this. Look at how far we’ve come, Wednesday!
This week also began with an old friend. I have many of those. For fear of being seen as too dependent on someone or something I keep myself detached. Friends are welcome to come and go as they please and I will remain unaffected. I would be lying to you Wednesday, if I told you I believed that.
I see myself as a catalyst. My usage differs in every scenario. I remember when my brother and sister in law came home from the Philippines, he told me I was a catalyst for noise. I did not mind. Some days I like knowing that my voice is heard. Often times I am only a supporting role in someone else’s narrative. I’m the mediator. I am the one you go to in order to get your message from point A to point B. Wednesday, there are days when I mind that. There are days when I’m tired of being the last resort. That I don’t want to be an option at all.
This week began in a whirlwind of doubt and insecurity. I found myself drowning. But Wednesday, I made it. I am here again to tell you my triumphs. I picked myself up and I am marching on. The road is still dark ahead but my eyes are adjusting. The shadows are not always monsters. Sometimes they are just light that is hidden by trees. So now, when I find a shadow I know I’m getting closer. Wednesday, we must be getting closer because the shadows are dancing around me. They’re trying to pull us back but we know their secrets. We won’t let them win.
I am the girl who forgives. The one who will always give another chance because I believe there is good in all of us. Am I wrong to be like this, Wednesday? I’m sure you’re on my side. You, Wednesday, are the apology from Monday and Tuesday. You give us a gift of Thursday and Friday and I thank you for that. For a day that offers fresh starts against all odds.
You are my muse, Wednesday. My inspiration. You remind me why I started this project. You keep me grounded. You keep me focused. You keep me going. As a child I used to look forward to the weekends because they offered freedom. I don’t need that freedom anymore. And for that I am grateful.
So I want to thank you,Wednesday. For all 30 or so times we’ve met this year. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for listening. Thank you for everything.