I’ve been struggling so much with this post today. These first weeks of the year are supposed to be positive and uplifting. They’re meant to be inspirational or whatever and I’m here just being moody and negative. It’s exactly how I envisioned the year would start. I’ve experienced so much change this last year that my mind is just like, NOPE.
I spent a good chunk of Sunday with some friends from where I used to live and just felt so checked out all day. I enjoyed the company but it reminded me how different things are here. It makes me want to be back there. It makes me feel impatient in this transitional period of my life. It makes me tired of having to keep starting over time and time again.
I guess the good thing about spending a year restarting every few months is that I realize I don’t need to wait for the new year to make changes. I’ve been on a journey of self improvement ever since I quit my job in May. I’ve had so many set backs but I’ve also had revelations. You win some and you lose some, as they say.
Over the last few months I’ve realized what I need to make my priorities and I’ve been working my way to the point where I can really make progress on those. So, although I’m not there yet, I know it’s okay. If I have learned anything this last year, it’s that you can’t tear yourself down for not being where you want to be.
Sometimes the new year doesn’t bring a new you. Sometimes the new year is just another day.
Today I’m thankful for friends who still love you even when you’re not yourself.