I wonder if there are times that you feel unloved. I wonder if we gave you Valentine’s day to make up for having the least amount of days. Do you feel appreciated? I don’t think I would if I were you, but I guess my opinion doesn’t matter all that much.
I tried to pick a song that would best describe how I’ve been feeling lately but all I can come up with is I Love You (But I’m Leaving) by Rusty clanton. As I’m sure you’re well aware, February, I have a tendency to want to pack up everything and move on. As soon as I start feeling settled, it’s time to change again. Just like clockwork. I don’t know if that’s just how I look for happiness or if I just get bored easily. I’m sure there is correlation between that and allowing myself to be happy but we’re not going to get into that today.
The song goes like this:
and though I don’t owe an explanation,
you’re kind of like sittin’ too close to a fire.
I know a few feet would make it better
but this chair’s so heavy, it’s late, I’m gettin’ tired.
But long gone are the days where I stand by and wait
for you to just burn out or burn me up.
So this is goodbye.
Things are heavy, and I’m getting tired. The accuracy is astounding. I’ve felt weighed down and I’m exhausted by it. One can only take so much before breaking down. I don’t want to break down. I’m sure that much is true for just about everyone.
I don’t feel as though I’m where I belong. I’ve had dream after dream this month teasing me with the potential of what else is out there. I know most is unobtainable but there are still the few things that make me wish things were different. I wonder if things will ever be different. Do I only get to experience something different every once in a while? Much like you, February, and how every four years you get that extra day to remind you that you are important.
I guess I can only hope that I don’t have to wait another four years.