I keep trying to write you this letter but nothing I write seems good enough. It feels like what I’m writing is inauthentic and that I’m forcing a positive outlook on the month. In reality, March, I spent most of this month stuck in my head not being able to focus on what I have in front of me.
I would say the song that most resonated with me is Yesterday by The Beatles. This song has been around for quite some time so I’m sure you’ve heard it, March.
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly I’m not half the man I used to be.
There’s a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
I had hope for you, March. I believed that if I told myself to be happy, I could create a shift in my head that might help me break free. That wasn’t the case. I’ve been up and down and all over the place this month and I have no idea how to stop. One day I would be living easy and the next I would be down in the dumps. Oh, I believe in yesterday.
We lost our great grandmother this month. You know, the one I swore would live forever. If anyone could have, it would have been her. The day we found out began with me forgetting my coffee at home and walking out to find that my car had been “broken” into. They took my car charger, a pair of sunglasses, and my key chain of rewards cards. Who would even do that, March?
The same morning, I had woken up feeling like I was on autopilot and nothing would shake it. I was unable to focus on work or even consoling others who had experienced a loss as well. Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
Forgive me, March, for not taking time to enjoy your presence. I spent so much time looking at the negative parts of life and not enough time being thankful for what I have. So, thank you March. I don’t say that enough. Thank you for Spring and whatever sunshine you can spare. I’ll see you around.
With love and gratitude,