A Letter To March

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Dear March,

I keep trying to write you this letter but nothing I write seems good enough. It feels like what I’m writing is inauthentic and that I’m forcing a positive outlook on the month. In reality, March, I spent most of this month stuck in my head not being able to focus on what I have in front of me.

I would say the song that most resonated with me is Yesterday by The Beatles. This song has been around for quite some time so I’m sure you’ve heard it, March.

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly I’m not half the man I used to be.
There’s a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

I had hope for you, March. I believed that if I told myself to be happy, I could create a shift in my head that might help me break free. That wasn’t the case. I’ve been up and down and all over the place this month and I have no idea how to stop. One day I would be living easy and the next I would be down in the dumps. Oh, I believe in yesterday.

We lost our great grandmother this month. You know, the one I swore would live forever. If anyone could have, it would have been her. The day we found out began with me forgetting my coffee at home and walking out to find that my car had been “broken” into. They took my car charger, a pair of sunglasses, and my key chain of rewards cards. Who would even do that, March?

The same morning, I had woken up feeling like I was on autopilot and nothing would shake it. I was unable to focus on work or even consoling others who had experienced a loss as well. Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

Forgive me, March, for not taking time to enjoy your presence. I spent so much time looking at the negative parts of life and not enough time being thankful for what I have. So, thank you March. I don’t say that enough. Thank you for Spring and whatever sunshine you can spare. I’ll see you around.

With love and gratitude,
Rebekah

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. This is beautiful, and in such a melancholy way. Love and strength to you! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m a firm believer in gratitude myself. I recall a time, when for a very long period, a matter of years, depression had me so in it’s grips that my emotional range was pretty much anxiety, apathy, or anger: I just didn’t experience gratitude. One evening I was crossing a street when I suddenly realized I was feeling grateful for the two bags of potatoes I’d managed to buy with the little money I had, and that would be waiting for me when I got home. That’s when I saw how long it had been since I’d last felt that way about anything. And that is also when I saw I would make it through, that I was on the mend.

    A very beautiful and poignant post, Rebekah! Thanks for sharing it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Paul! I’m glad that you were able to find your way out!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much, Rebekah! It was very much a group effort in the end. Family, friends, a psychiatrist, and a therapist both. May I ask if you yourself have a solid support group? Or is that too intrusive?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I do. They’re all great. It’s been a huge help

        Liked by 1 person

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