A Bullshitter’s Guide to Landing Your Dream Job

First a little housekeeping. Sorry I’ve missed my last two Friday posts. Life has gotten in the way. I’m back though. I know it’s Saturday but we’re getting back on track. I’ll catch you on the flip side!


Do you ever wonder how it seems that people just have jobs falling into their laps without even trying? Well, it’s all an act. Here is a list on how to land your dream job (or really any job that you feel like applying for. You do you, kid.)

step 1: Find what you believe your dream job is. Not everyone will know this right away. that’s okay. If you don’t know, these steps can still apply to you.

step 2: research this job. What is the average pay scale? Are you passionate about all aspects of this job or just a few? Look into companies that provide this position. How do their morals mix with yours. Do employees seem taken care of and satisfied? You’ll know what answers you need to look for

Step 3: Perfect your resume. This is your first impression and you don’t want to mess it up. Make it visually appealing but not too busy. Make sure there are no typographical errors. Include your name, number and a professional email. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve received a resume with an email listed as “soulcrusher69@msn.com”. 10/10 I will pass on that applicant. It costs no money to create an email with your name through Google or Yahoo.

Step 4: Put your name out there. Apply to your top employers and follow up with them. Are they hiring currently? Can they keep your resume on file for when they are hiring? If they’re hiring, but they pass on you for that position, ask what you need to work on in order to be considered. It’s a long shot but it’s worth it. You could get some amazing feedback.

Step 5: When you get an interview. Be early by 5-10 minutes. If you’re late, that’s an immediate pass. Ask what the dress code before showing up and dress to match that. You don’t want to show up to McDonald’s in a suit and tie just the same as you wouldn’t show up to a law firm in ripped jeans and sneakers. Pay attention to body language. I have a bad habit of looking down when I’m walking somewhere. Don’t be too stiff but have good posture. Shoulders back, head up and smile. Have a firm handshake but not so firm that you break bones.

Step 6: During the interview, make sure you don’t get yourself caught in a lie. Make sure that you’re being honest with the person interviewing you so that in the event you get a second interview you won’t have to remember what you said the first time. I’m not saying that you have to tell them that you left your previous employer because you were having a mental breakdown. Have a plan. They will almost ALWAYS ask you where you see yourself in 5 years. Be confident in what you’re saying even if you feel unsure. (Pro tip: if you’re nervous about an interview, have a friend or coworker have a mock interview with you. That way you aren’t just talking to yourself for an hour)

Step 7: Don’t be afraid to ask questions. There have been times that I’ve felt confident in the interview and ended up kicking myself later because I forgot to ask something so simple that would affect how I felt about the position. I know that there are interviews that seem to answer all your questions but it’s good to have some unique questions to ask so they know you really care about the position. Here are some of the questions I have asked in interviews.

  • How long have you been with the company and what brought you here?
  • How effective is communication in your company?
  • Have there been employees that have left because they felt unsupported or unimportant? Has there been anything put in place to prevent that in the future?
  • What benefits are offered with this company?
  • Where do you see yourself (or the company) in 5 years?
  • What is the one thing you would want a new employee to know before starting?

Step 8: Don’t be afraid to work your way up. It’s not as bad as it seems. First of all, it helps you really understand what the different levels of the hierarchy are like. I promise it will make you a better leader in the long run. Secondly, I find that it helps you gain respect. Someone sees you move up the ladder they will believe you really know your stuff. And you will really know your stuff. (You can’t be a world traveler without the stamps in your passport.)

Step 9: If you don’t get the job, take this experience and allow it to help you grow as a person and an employee. Everyone misses the bulls-eye once in a while, that doesn’t mean you should stop trying.

Step 10: If you get the job and then realize that it’s not your dream job, don’t let that overwhelm you. Everyone misses the bulls-eye once in a while, that doesn’t mean you should stop trying.


Today I’m thankful that it’s not to late to change my mind…again.

(also sorry for the title, mom, I thought it was funny.)

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Sue says:

    You’ve put a lot of thought into this one, and that’s no B.S.:-).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great piece, I’m an absolute basket case in job interviews so I’ll definitely try to remember some of these points haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad I could help! Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

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