A Letter To April

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Dear April,

I want to say this month has been peaceful but in reality, it’s been far from that.

By the time you’re reading this, April, we will have closed down my office and moved everyone back to the main building. I understand why, but I still feel a pang of sadness when I think of losing my work home. Actually, April, this wasn’t even supposed to be my permanent home. I was told coming in that I would be staying at the main office but there was a shift in job roles and I was given this office. This quiet space with hardly anyone coming in and out was the perfect environment for me and to say I wouldn’t miss the independence would be lying.

Once upon another time
Somebody’s hands who felt like mine
Turned the key and took a drive
Was free

You’ve been a difficult month to sum up. I find myself dreaming of who I should have been by now, who I want to be, and who I used to be. I haven’t taken the time to live in the moment. It’s always once upon another time, April. We’re a third of the way through the year and still at the same time I feel like we haven’t even begun.

Things have been changing at work and I’m uncertain about it. I have found that, through all this transition, I have become a better boss for myself. I have become more disciplined and learned that I need to communicate with myself just like I would with employees or employers. I think that’s been the best thing to have come out of this stressful time, April.

One more thing before I go, April. I know this has been short and I haven’t said much but sometimes I find it hard to communicate with someone that won’t reciprocate. I know that I expect a lot out of you, April, but you haven’t given me much to work with. So I want to say that I’m sorry for seeming distant. I wish there was more I could tell you.

Until next time,
Rebekah

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